Monday, April 2, 2012

How to Control Anxiety.


A feeling is when we say: I feel happy. I feel sad. When we start a sentence with the words I feel, then it is a feeling.
A thought is when we say: I think you are beautiful. I think you are smart. I think I will go to for a walk. When we start our sentence with I think, then it is a thought and, not an action.

We cannot control our thoughts sometimes because our thoughts are determined by our senses and connected to our emotions. So, how do we separate our feeling from our emotions? What we see, hear or, how another person makes us feel?

We can control a feeling afterwards with a change in the way we think of what hurt us. It's like changing a channel in your thought process. It takes focus and a plan. There are ways to do it which I will get into later.

Emotions are feelings we get when we feel love, anger, jealousy, resentment, sadness, compassion, empathy etc. We are not in control of our emotions at first. We may react right away, and then regret it. When we have a feeling, it's our feeling! No one can say: You shouldn't feel that way... When they do, it angers us because they are not validating us as a person. The thing to say is, you mustn't think that way. Or look for a proactive approach depending on the situation. You know its a feeling when you start a sentence with, I felt hurt when you said that or, I feel sick. When we were children we had no problem telling a friend, you hurt my feelings!

Emotions are feelings we feel in our heart. Thoughts come from the mind. We can rationalize, deny, overcome, and change how we respond.
It depends on the severity of the outside source that was put upon us, perhaps as a child, as to how long it will take to overcome a situation.
Can another person make us feel good, bad, happy, sad or, angry? Can life's circumstances put us in a whirlwind?

Yes, but they cannot make us feel bad about ourselves deep down inside with emotional intelligence. Even under the destructive current circumstances of our world, this can be changed on a personal level. We are survivors. If you are reading this? You are a survivor. You have learned coping skills.

However your life is now, it was different before. It changed through your life experiences and, choices you made. Mind over matter.

Emotions that come from an outside source are very real. A loved one passes over, a person becomes seriously ill, the loss of a pet. These are things that we must accept. They are defining moments in our lives. They become part of our very core. They change us. We see the world through different eyes.
A divorce may make you feel freedom for the first time! Or, it can make you feel lonely. Just know that you are where you want to be. You are in control of your body, and mind. It's your hands that put that pill in your mouth, took that extra drink, ate the whole pie. Your choice!

Your hands are connected to your body therefore they are in your control.
Whenever you feel an emotion you don't want to feel, this is what you can do.

Pinch your hand as shown in the picture below.

Get into a comfortable position preferably laying down. Touch the middle of your forehead so you can feel it after your hand leaves it. Place your arms to your sides not touching your body. Close your eyes then concentrate on that spot you just touched then, let all thoughts run through your mind as if you're watching a slideshow until you see nothing but a white dot.

Close Your Eyes.

Think of a beautiful scene while pinching your hand. It can be anything you want. You are free to think of anything with no limits. Sometimes people will say, all I think of is bad stuff. If that happens just let those thoughts go by like a slideshow, and come to the spot you touched, also known as the third eye. Concentrate on that spot. See it as a white light.

I think of being on a beach.

I watch as sail boats drift in the clear green sea. I breathe in the salty winds that blow ever so softly.
I walk barefoot on in the warm water, the warm sand feels like silk.
The sand is so very soft as I lay down on it.
The sand warms my entire body.
I look into the blue sky and green trees along the sides.
I breathe in deeply.
My senses remember the scent of the sand and sea.

Then I stop pinching of my hand.

How it works.

Let's say I have to go somewhere which may cause some anxiety.
I pinch my hand and automatically my body relaxes.
The body sends the picture to the brain and signals the body to relax.

You can do this in any situation using the hand pinch method. You are free to think of anything you wish.